Conversations in Curiosity| Part 4: Rediscovering Your Curiosity

“How do you help leaders rediscover their curiosity?”

I was asked that recently during a networking event. Many think of curiosity as something focused outward. To truly embody curiosity, however, I start with an inwardly focused process.

How attuned are you to what is going on inside you? Rediscovering your curiosity begins with attunement to what is happening inside your body and getting curious about it. That means slowing down, sitting with what arises, and asking the questions you might otherwise avoid.

You have back-to-back calls, a board deck due, and three crises that weren't on last week's radar. That's not leadership dysfunction—that's Tuesday. It’s also prime territory for pushing you into survival mode. You've felt it. The heat rising in the middle of a meeting. The jaw you don't notice you're clenching until you're in the parking lot. The tightening in your stomach when that one person who always questions your competency walks into the room. The breathlessness you feel as you race from one thing to another. That's not stress; that's data. What would it mean to get curious about it instead of pushing through? Why is your body in survival mode?

 Slow down and start noticing these sensations. Take a breath and sink into your body to notice what is happening inside.  Is your stomach tensing, your fists or jaw clenching, your breath and heartbeat quickening? Do you find yourself withdrawing? Holding back? When you are under stress or pressure your mind shifts to autopilot to conserve energy to deal with perceived threats (be that the lion stalking you or the conflict with a teammate: they both represent threat). Recognizing the signs that show up in your body first, and then naming the feeling can give you power to face them.

Naming what's happening inside is the entry point. But the more interesting question is where it came from. Once you notice the sensations and name them, we begin exploring them. Where did they come from?  What meaning do you assign them? What’s the accompanying narrative? Do they reflect what you believe or maybe someone else’s that stuck to your skin like a bandage might stick to a wound? How could they be limiting you in the same way a scar can limit your range of movement? Identify the messages on autoplay that create these emotions and reactions. Do they fit who you are now and who you are becoming? Exploring these questions together creates space to purge those no longer aligned and make conscious choices rather than cruising on autopilot.

Once you’ve made your choice, practicing the new way of being takes shape. Declaring means speaking your commitment aloud. Voicing your evolving way of being and living it requires acting with conscious effort. It’s not as easy as a statement. Like learning a new sport or dance or language, you need to build or strengthen new muscles and neuropathways. Practice is not perfection, give yourself grace and space to develop like you would if you were learning that new sport, or language. Don’t let your inner critic have the last word.

The next time you feel the familiar tightening, be it jaw, breath, heart, gut, don't rush past it. Get curious about it. Sit with it. That moment of pause is where the work begins.

I’d be happy to hold that space for you if you’re ready to explore. Reach out and schedule a chemistry call.

In my next blog, I'll show how this same process opens curiosity in teams.